To be fair, it should be mentioned that both bosses treat me extremely well. Both respect the opinions of their staff and want to cultivate potential. Both are protective of their staff and both have (in their own very different ways) a plan of sorts for their underlings. It's just that they both have different goals, different methods, and different mindsets.
All this subtle pushing and pulling has resulted in my lowered productivity. It also seems to breed faineance. The simplest of tasks are drawn out and extended. Rather than favouring one or the other, I've adopted passivity and fallen into a rut in the middle ground. Always appearing busy (as each always assumes I'm busy with something the other has assigned me) when I am whiling the time away.
Sigh. I don't like the situation. I hope one goes back, and I am left with a single focus. I don't want to turn into a snake..
I am tired today. I am tired and I am uncomfortable in my own body. I seem to have forgotten what I look like, or maybe I never knew.
A few years ago, I went out with a friend of mine. She was about my height and build, with a similar hairstyle, and was wearing a roughly comparable outfit. I wandered off. After a while, I caught sight of her again. I waved, she waved. I was waving at a mirror.
This 14-year old girl went missing recently, in September. I think she looks very much like me.
My doppelganger?
Sure, her face is kinda longer, and her chin more pointed.. but I think that her features bear a striking resemblance to mine. When I first saw that photo, I thought it was of me. I think I look like that, even the awkward, rigid, angle of her hand and arm when she holds her popsicle looks like how I think mine would look like if I were to do the same.
And this is the most recent photo of me:
With Morris and the amazingly pretty Elena.
The girl in the photo looks nothing like how I think I look like. It looks awkward to me, like a shell of someone impersonating me.
I am not going crazy. It's just weird!
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