A while ago, she told me that he wouldn't like me as much if I didn't take care of my looks.
Recently, she told me that he would be less concerned about me if I kept showing him I was independent and brave.
She's a nice person. And she means well. She advises me so because she truly believes in her words.
But her words are not what I believe in.
I want him to love me for me, for who I am. Not for what I look like on the surface. Beauty always fades; love should remain. That is the kind of love that I am looking for. The kind of love that still blows his mind when he looks at me at my lowest - when I am sick, when I am old, when I am wrinkled and feeble, when I am breaking down - and he'd still think I was beautiful because of who I am and what I mean to him.
I want to be stronger and better, I want to be the best me that I can be. I want to be able to survive. To be able to stand on my own proudly - and I want him to be proud of me too. But in the end, I still want to know that I will be protected. Because even though I will be capable of facing it all alone, I will still need his protection and assurances.
I know, to some extent, she is right. But it's not what I want. I want a love and a happiness that means more than that.
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